Emily, Emily's mom, Emily's sister Ellie, and I all went out to lunch/dinner at the Friendly Toast after Emily's mom picked Emily and I up from choir rehearsal. It was a great time -- they have fantastic food, and an enormous selection to choose from. While there, we all agreed that one could go there for dinner 5 nights a week and not get bored of it for a very long time.
At any rate, since their food is so incredible, and they have so many choices, we went ahead and ordered quite a bit. I felt terrible, as I couldn't finish it all, though I valiantly tried and ended up with a terrible stomachache and a very dire need to relieve myself via the bathroom. As we were waiting for the tab, I made my way back to the bathrooms, and found that the women's room was occupied. A minute or two later, a man comes and joins me in waiting for the bathroom, as the men's room is also occupied. A minute after that, a woman comes back also and exclaims: "My, we have a line going here!" She also says that I manage to look cute even when reflected by a fun house distortion mirror.
After a while of waiting, the woman eventually leaves, knowing that whoever's in there is taking their sweet time, and that she is not the next person in line. I stand there with the man, dancing a little bit to the music, and look back to find that he is as well. He's moved further away from the entrance of the bathrooms than I am.
Eventually, the men's bathroom was vacated, but the man made no move to enter it. I looked to him: "You know, that was the men's room. The men's room is free now."
"...I know."
"What, do you not need to go?"
"...No."
"Well, what is it? That's the men's room, you can go in it now." The whole time I'm saying this, it's with the clear implication that as it is the men's room that is free, the women's room is not, and thus I will not be going to the bathroom quite yet.
The next thing he says surprises me: "Well, you were waiting here first..."
I look back at him with my eyebrows raised. "Yes, but that's the men's room. I am a woman, therefore I will be using the women's room."
"But you were here before me..."
"That's the men's room, and you are a man."
"Yeah..."
He doesn't go in immediately, but does enter the men's room about 2 seconds before the women's room is vacated. When I leave the women's room, I'm amused to find that he is still making use of the facilities, and thus probably needed it more than I did anyways.
It really was a nice sentiment, but I simply do not use the men's room, especially when it is obvious that the women's room is not going to be occupied for much longer. Perhaps if there was a very long line of women behind me, and I needed to go with great urgency, I would've taken him up on his offer. But none of these things were the case, so I had to turn him down.
In a kind of pathetic way, this guy was adorable. He was also at least a decade older than I.
Sunday, January 06, 2008
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Watching someone die from afar
This morning my uncle called while I was brushing my teeth. My brother kept peering past the doorway until I was done, and then gave me the phone.
Conversation started out fairly normal; cheerful, even, but within a minute or two we got down to business. I could hear the sadness in my uncle's voice, but he was trying his best to sound normal and casual about the whole thing.
"Cara's getting rid of a lot of her clothes," he said to me. "Most of them are really nice, so I was wondering if you'd like some of them."
I said I would be happy to receive some of her clothing.
"What dress size are you? Do you like boots?" He asked me. I didn't know my dress size.
I felt so sad for my uncle; to anyone else, he wouldn't sound quite so depressed, but I could tell that he was. His daughter is dying and he's calling people up to ask them if they want her clothing, because she knows that she won't have much use for them in a short while. I can't think of a more depressing situation than that.
Ever since I got older, my cousin's been cordial to me, but around 9 or 10 I lost the feeling of her really loving me. This is the age at which your relatives stop caring, and it goes on until you're about 20.
I want to talk to her so badly, but she doesn't want to be bothered by anyone outside her immediate family, it seems. Though, it might just be my family. We always seem so terribly out of place with them.
I just picture myself holding her and crying into her chest. I want to tell her "I love you," and have it mean something.
"Do you wear leather?" my uncle asks.
"Well, I might," I reply, feeling a little awkward.
"In what situation would you wear it? The leather I'm talking about it a rather nice waistcoat," he responds, consternation lacing his tone.
"I don't know... it would depend on the style of the coat. I'd know once I saw it," I say.
He goes on to try and describe the coat to me, and I stop him; "I probably wouldn't end up wearing it that much, actually, even if I did like it. I'm sure there are other people who would wear it more than I," I say hurriedly. I would feel horrible if any of Cara's possessions just ended up in a closet, and I'm sure that would be the fate of a nice coat like that when put in my care.
Conversation started out fairly normal; cheerful, even, but within a minute or two we got down to business. I could hear the sadness in my uncle's voice, but he was trying his best to sound normal and casual about the whole thing.
"Cara's getting rid of a lot of her clothes," he said to me. "Most of them are really nice, so I was wondering if you'd like some of them."
I said I would be happy to receive some of her clothing.
"What dress size are you? Do you like boots?" He asked me. I didn't know my dress size.
I felt so sad for my uncle; to anyone else, he wouldn't sound quite so depressed, but I could tell that he was. His daughter is dying and he's calling people up to ask them if they want her clothing, because she knows that she won't have much use for them in a short while. I can't think of a more depressing situation than that.
Ever since I got older, my cousin's been cordial to me, but around 9 or 10 I lost the feeling of her really loving me. This is the age at which your relatives stop caring, and it goes on until you're about 20.
I want to talk to her so badly, but she doesn't want to be bothered by anyone outside her immediate family, it seems. Though, it might just be my family. We always seem so terribly out of place with them.
I just picture myself holding her and crying into her chest. I want to tell her "I love you," and have it mean something.
"Do you wear leather?" my uncle asks.
"Well, I might," I reply, feeling a little awkward.
"In what situation would you wear it? The leather I'm talking about it a rather nice waistcoat," he responds, consternation lacing his tone.
"I don't know... it would depend on the style of the coat. I'd know once I saw it," I say.
He goes on to try and describe the coat to me, and I stop him; "I probably wouldn't end up wearing it that much, actually, even if I did like it. I'm sure there are other people who would wear it more than I," I say hurriedly. I would feel horrible if any of Cara's possessions just ended up in a closet, and I'm sure that would be the fate of a nice coat like that when put in my care.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
The boy nobody plays with
I had to babysit tonight, after a fantastic (yet tiring) day at Showa Boston Institute, and I wasn't sure exactly what I was going to do. For a few years I have refused to babysit because I'm so afraid of doing something wrong with someone else's kid, even though I know I would rake in the dough ($10 an hour is really good for an actual job, let alone babysitting). However, after a particularly expensive purchase, I promised my dad I would babysit for 20 hours in order to help pay for it. (He's brought it down to 15 hours, because it wasn't as expensive as we anticipated, but I would rather pay for all of it and have some left over, rather than my dad claiming him paying for the rest of it was my birthday present.)
Tonight, I babysat for 2 hours. As of right now, I'm only babysitting girls, because all the people I know with boys who would hire me have very violent, hard-to-control boys. Generally, the girls are more low-key.
I was surprised upon entering my neighbor's house how thrilled the girls were to see me. Well, Elly was excited to see me. Hannah was chewing on her blanket. Back a year or two ago, when I came over to be a "mother's helper" (training for babysitting, basically), Elly seemed terrified that I would take their current sitter's place. I don't know what's changed, but at least she didn't bite me this time.
Hannah immediately assaulted me with the picture she'd just drawn, but then decided to show it to her dad because I was being informed what to do in case of an emergency and given mac and cheese.
While we were watching Cinderella III, her masterpiece double-timed as a mat to sit on, but when Hannah decided I was more comfortable, she brought it to my attention again. She explained to me that the blue square was a kitty, the red squiggles were grass and the rabbit heads that looked a bit like jellyfish were children. After pointing out the kitty, she pointed at one of the children, off the the right, apart from all the other children:
"That's Bob," she explained.
"Why is Bob all alone?" I asked her.
"No-one plays with Bob," she replied.
I tried to find out more about Bob, but she soon became distracted with a purple metallic marker.
She also wouldn't let her mom out the door with me, so I have returned home with no further knowledge of Bob and no money, either.
Oh well. It wasn't as if I really had much use for either of them.
Tonight, I babysat for 2 hours. As of right now, I'm only babysitting girls, because all the people I know with boys who would hire me have very violent, hard-to-control boys. Generally, the girls are more low-key.
I was surprised upon entering my neighbor's house how thrilled the girls were to see me. Well, Elly was excited to see me. Hannah was chewing on her blanket. Back a year or two ago, when I came over to be a "mother's helper" (training for babysitting, basically), Elly seemed terrified that I would take their current sitter's place. I don't know what's changed, but at least she didn't bite me this time.
Hannah immediately assaulted me with the picture she'd just drawn, but then decided to show it to her dad because I was being informed what to do in case of an emergency and given mac and cheese.
While we were watching Cinderella III, her masterpiece double-timed as a mat to sit on, but when Hannah decided I was more comfortable, she brought it to my attention again. She explained to me that the blue square was a kitty, the red squiggles were grass and the rabbit heads that looked a bit like jellyfish were children. After pointing out the kitty, she pointed at one of the children, off the the right, apart from all the other children:
"That's Bob," she explained.
"Why is Bob all alone?" I asked her.
"No-one plays with Bob," she replied.
I tried to find out more about Bob, but she soon became distracted with a purple metallic marker.
She also wouldn't let her mom out the door with me, so I have returned home with no further knowledge of Bob and no money, either.
Oh well. It wasn't as if I really had much use for either of them.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
I have never seen a duller brown
I usually like taking the bus, despite the bitter cold and long wait for my bus (it's always the last one, about half-an-hour late), but the one thing I try to avoid is that guy. I forgot his name; it really doesn't matter, either, so he's "that guy".
I had suspected before that guy had a crush on me. I was disgusted, and thus pushed the thought out of my mind. If I was going to go straight, it wouldn't be for the likes of him! He's not that short, but is stout and husky. He has a face I suspect even his mother was surprised at and dull brown eyes. He has a twin brother who is about a million times better-looking than him, and I understand why that guy's brother pretends not to even know him. He describes himself as the "fun-loving party-goer" and his brother as the "boring studious one".
It's actually more like this: that guy is the "one who has the ability to be incredibly annoying at all times just by existing" and his brother is the "studious, well-behaved one who has done nothing to deserve the curse of his brother, and has possibly been ostracized by others just by being related to that irritant".
I know it sounds really harsh, but I can't think of anyone who likes that guy. And I don't feel sorry for him, because he really is that annoying.
At any rate, after Josh's bus left (and thus, his friend Alex's hat, which he was lending me because I was cold and had been using Josh's arm as a source of warmth) I went over to talk to Casey and Nellie. Unfortunately, that guy was there too. Casey began encouraging me to kick his ass, and I decided to, literally. I eventually managed to hit my target. (Though it was probably the least well-executed, wimpiest kick I have ever given in my life.)
He looked back in surprise and said: "Oh man, I though you pinched my butt!"
HOW DISGUSTING! If I ever pinched his butt, even accidentally, I would have to have my hands amputated.
I then replied: "I'm never going to lay my hands on anyone's ass other than Rachel's."
He looked a bit confused, mumbled something, and then, in consternation:
"Do you have a boyfriend?"
I looked at him in disgust and exasperation: "No, I have a girlfriend."
"You should get a boyfriend."
Is he hitting on me? There is so much wrong about this!
"Penises are gross. Seriously, I hate them. I plan never to volunatarily look at visual depictions of penises, nor do I ever want to be affiliated with them. Besides that fact, I have an absolutely amazing girlfriend."
"You should get a boyfriend."
What the fuck! How amazingly annoying! Is this boy even in possession of a brain?
"Um... no. I'm perfectly happy with my girlfriend. I doubt anyone could make me happier than she."
Then the bus came. (Thank God.)
During a conversation Casey, Nellie and I were having about eyes, he insisted that he had "mood-ring eyes" ("You can tell what kind of day I'm having by the color of my eyes!").
I don't think I neglected to mention that I have never seem a duller brown.
I had suspected before that guy had a crush on me. I was disgusted, and thus pushed the thought out of my mind. If I was going to go straight, it wouldn't be for the likes of him! He's not that short, but is stout and husky. He has a face I suspect even his mother was surprised at and dull brown eyes. He has a twin brother who is about a million times better-looking than him, and I understand why that guy's brother pretends not to even know him. He describes himself as the "fun-loving party-goer" and his brother as the "boring studious one".
It's actually more like this: that guy is the "one who has the ability to be incredibly annoying at all times just by existing" and his brother is the "studious, well-behaved one who has done nothing to deserve the curse of his brother, and has possibly been ostracized by others just by being related to that irritant".
I know it sounds really harsh, but I can't think of anyone who likes that guy. And I don't feel sorry for him, because he really is that annoying.
At any rate, after Josh's bus left (and thus, his friend Alex's hat, which he was lending me because I was cold and had been using Josh's arm as a source of warmth) I went over to talk to Casey and Nellie. Unfortunately, that guy was there too. Casey began encouraging me to kick his ass, and I decided to, literally. I eventually managed to hit my target. (Though it was probably the least well-executed, wimpiest kick I have ever given in my life.)
He looked back in surprise and said: "Oh man, I though you pinched my butt!"
HOW DISGUSTING! If I ever pinched his butt, even accidentally, I would have to have my hands amputated.
I then replied: "I'm never going to lay my hands on anyone's ass other than Rachel's."
He looked a bit confused, mumbled something, and then, in consternation:
"Do you have a boyfriend?"
I looked at him in disgust and exasperation: "No, I have a girlfriend."
"You should get a boyfriend."
Is he hitting on me? There is so much wrong about this!
"Penises are gross. Seriously, I hate them. I plan never to volunatarily look at visual depictions of penises, nor do I ever want to be affiliated with them. Besides that fact, I have an absolutely amazing girlfriend."
"You should get a boyfriend."
What the fuck! How amazingly annoying! Is this boy even in possession of a brain?
"Um... no. I'm perfectly happy with my girlfriend. I doubt anyone could make me happier than she."
Then the bus came. (Thank God.)
During a conversation Casey, Nellie and I were having about eyes, he insisted that he had "mood-ring eyes" ("You can tell what kind of day I'm having by the color of my eyes!").
I don't think I neglected to mention that I have never seem a duller brown.
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Nothing Special
Today ended up being more monotonous than I would've liked. Things happened as they always did, but the slight emptiness I felt was not because of that.
For the play, I had to take off all of my bracelets, of which I had about twenty. Now... some of these bracelets I've had for over a year. People joked about me feeling lighter without them, but I just felt odd. I felt off-balance, like a cat with the tips of its whiskers cut off.
I felt like I'd lost a part of myself, which in a way, I guess I had.
Those bracelets were one of my signature traits -- one of the things that identified me as an individual, made me myself.
Whenever I touch my wrists, or just see them, I feel incredibly bare. Like I've suddenly been stripped naked in a room full of people.
Taylor grabbed one of my wrists today, and I felt like I might've fainted.
I can't believe that I won't be able to wear them for two whole weeks.
For the play, I had to take off all of my bracelets, of which I had about twenty. Now... some of these bracelets I've had for over a year. People joked about me feeling lighter without them, but I just felt odd. I felt off-balance, like a cat with the tips of its whiskers cut off.
I felt like I'd lost a part of myself, which in a way, I guess I had.
Those bracelets were one of my signature traits -- one of the things that identified me as an individual, made me myself.
Whenever I touch my wrists, or just see them, I feel incredibly bare. Like I've suddenly been stripped naked in a room full of people.
Taylor grabbed one of my wrists today, and I felt like I might've fainted.
I can't believe that I won't be able to wear them for two whole weeks.
Just Another Day
Today, I awoke to the sound of a chainsaw whirring away, cutting a troublesome limb off a tree in my neighbor's yard. I turned up my stereo, turned over, hugged my moose, and fell back asleep.
It was obvoiusly going to be just another day.
When I next wakened, a few hours later, the house was abandoned. I took up my post at the computer in my dad's room and did essentially nothing until my dad came back home, and offered to take me out for lunch.
We ate at The Blue Moon, which I had always thought to be a place for younger people, or at least aging hippies. It has that kind of feel to it, on both the inside and outside; I always felt my dad was out of place there.
To my surprise, apparently it had become a lot more popular with middle-aged men than I would care to admit.
At least they still had good soup.
Arriving home, I was reminded exactly why I had opted to cotinue sleeping this morning. Every minute, it was my dad reminding me of another task I had to do.
Or, rather, something I had said I would do later.
When he finally left again, I felt relief; although I didn't have much time to laze about with practice on its way.
Today... we weren't very productive, or at least it didn't seem that way, seeing as we lounged around most of the time. Sure, the leads got through a lot, but us chorus members did absolutely nothing for at least half of the time, or more.
I did have a good time with Joanna though, and I did some nice things for Nelly; but by the end I didn't hold a feeling of satisfaction, of a job well done. What did we do well? Socializing.
The movie I watched upon returning home helped. Nothing like basic mindless entertainment to get your mind off those horrible feelings of dissatisfaction.
The unexpected happened while I sat in my dad's office chair, bored out of my mind to the point where I was blocking all the robots in public AIM chatrooms just so I could talk to myself. There was one real, interesting, intellectual person in a chatroom.
I swear that Hell must have frozen over today, pigs flew, and that all of those other cliches used to illustrate things that don't happen very often became reality.
We had a friendly conversation, and it was one of the only things I really enjoyed all day (with the other exception of my lemon-pepper tofu wrap that I failed to mention and expand upon).
Still, had it not been for my amazing chatroom friend and equally amazing sandwich, today would have been perfectly normal.
Or maybe it wouldn't have.
Perhaps there is no such thing as a normal day.
Well, there's only one way to find out.
It was obvoiusly going to be just another day.
When I next wakened, a few hours later, the house was abandoned. I took up my post at the computer in my dad's room and did essentially nothing until my dad came back home, and offered to take me out for lunch.
We ate at The Blue Moon, which I had always thought to be a place for younger people, or at least aging hippies. It has that kind of feel to it, on both the inside and outside; I always felt my dad was out of place there.
To my surprise, apparently it had become a lot more popular with middle-aged men than I would care to admit.
At least they still had good soup.
Arriving home, I was reminded exactly why I had opted to cotinue sleeping this morning. Every minute, it was my dad reminding me of another task I had to do.
Or, rather, something I had said I would do later.
When he finally left again, I felt relief; although I didn't have much time to laze about with practice on its way.
Today... we weren't very productive, or at least it didn't seem that way, seeing as we lounged around most of the time. Sure, the leads got through a lot, but us chorus members did absolutely nothing for at least half of the time, or more.
I did have a good time with Joanna though, and I did some nice things for Nelly; but by the end I didn't hold a feeling of satisfaction, of a job well done. What did we do well? Socializing.
The movie I watched upon returning home helped. Nothing like basic mindless entertainment to get your mind off those horrible feelings of dissatisfaction.
The unexpected happened while I sat in my dad's office chair, bored out of my mind to the point where I was blocking all the robots in public AIM chatrooms just so I could talk to myself. There was one real, interesting, intellectual person in a chatroom.
I swear that Hell must have frozen over today, pigs flew, and that all of those other cliches used to illustrate things that don't happen very often became reality.
We had a friendly conversation, and it was one of the only things I really enjoyed all day (with the other exception of my lemon-pepper tofu wrap that I failed to mention and expand upon).
Still, had it not been for my amazing chatroom friend and equally amazing sandwich, today would have been perfectly normal.
Or maybe it wouldn't have.
Perhaps there is no such thing as a normal day.
Well, there's only one way to find out.
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