Today ended up being more monotonous than I would've liked. Things happened as they always did, but the slight emptiness I felt was not because of that.
For the play, I had to take off all of my bracelets, of which I had about twenty. Now... some of these bracelets I've had for over a year. People joked about me feeling lighter without them, but I just felt odd. I felt off-balance, like a cat with the tips of its whiskers cut off.
I felt like I'd lost a part of myself, which in a way, I guess I had.
Those bracelets were one of my signature traits -- one of the things that identified me as an individual, made me myself.
Whenever I touch my wrists, or just see them, I feel incredibly bare. Like I've suddenly been stripped naked in a room full of people.
Taylor grabbed one of my wrists today, and I felt like I might've fainted.
I can't believe that I won't be able to wear them for two whole weeks.
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Just Another Day
Today, I awoke to the sound of a chainsaw whirring away, cutting a troublesome limb off a tree in my neighbor's yard. I turned up my stereo, turned over, hugged my moose, and fell back asleep.
It was obvoiusly going to be just another day.
When I next wakened, a few hours later, the house was abandoned. I took up my post at the computer in my dad's room and did essentially nothing until my dad came back home, and offered to take me out for lunch.
We ate at The Blue Moon, which I had always thought to be a place for younger people, or at least aging hippies. It has that kind of feel to it, on both the inside and outside; I always felt my dad was out of place there.
To my surprise, apparently it had become a lot more popular with middle-aged men than I would care to admit.
At least they still had good soup.
Arriving home, I was reminded exactly why I had opted to cotinue sleeping this morning. Every minute, it was my dad reminding me of another task I had to do.
Or, rather, something I had said I would do later.
When he finally left again, I felt relief; although I didn't have much time to laze about with practice on its way.
Today... we weren't very productive, or at least it didn't seem that way, seeing as we lounged around most of the time. Sure, the leads got through a lot, but us chorus members did absolutely nothing for at least half of the time, or more.
I did have a good time with Joanna though, and I did some nice things for Nelly; but by the end I didn't hold a feeling of satisfaction, of a job well done. What did we do well? Socializing.
The movie I watched upon returning home helped. Nothing like basic mindless entertainment to get your mind off those horrible feelings of dissatisfaction.
The unexpected happened while I sat in my dad's office chair, bored out of my mind to the point where I was blocking all the robots in public AIM chatrooms just so I could talk to myself. There was one real, interesting, intellectual person in a chatroom.
I swear that Hell must have frozen over today, pigs flew, and that all of those other cliches used to illustrate things that don't happen very often became reality.
We had a friendly conversation, and it was one of the only things I really enjoyed all day (with the other exception of my lemon-pepper tofu wrap that I failed to mention and expand upon).
Still, had it not been for my amazing chatroom friend and equally amazing sandwich, today would have been perfectly normal.
Or maybe it wouldn't have.
Perhaps there is no such thing as a normal day.
Well, there's only one way to find out.
It was obvoiusly going to be just another day.
When I next wakened, a few hours later, the house was abandoned. I took up my post at the computer in my dad's room and did essentially nothing until my dad came back home, and offered to take me out for lunch.
We ate at The Blue Moon, which I had always thought to be a place for younger people, or at least aging hippies. It has that kind of feel to it, on both the inside and outside; I always felt my dad was out of place there.
To my surprise, apparently it had become a lot more popular with middle-aged men than I would care to admit.
At least they still had good soup.
Arriving home, I was reminded exactly why I had opted to cotinue sleeping this morning. Every minute, it was my dad reminding me of another task I had to do.
Or, rather, something I had said I would do later.
When he finally left again, I felt relief; although I didn't have much time to laze about with practice on its way.
Today... we weren't very productive, or at least it didn't seem that way, seeing as we lounged around most of the time. Sure, the leads got through a lot, but us chorus members did absolutely nothing for at least half of the time, or more.
I did have a good time with Joanna though, and I did some nice things for Nelly; but by the end I didn't hold a feeling of satisfaction, of a job well done. What did we do well? Socializing.
The movie I watched upon returning home helped. Nothing like basic mindless entertainment to get your mind off those horrible feelings of dissatisfaction.
The unexpected happened while I sat in my dad's office chair, bored out of my mind to the point where I was blocking all the robots in public AIM chatrooms just so I could talk to myself. There was one real, interesting, intellectual person in a chatroom.
I swear that Hell must have frozen over today, pigs flew, and that all of those other cliches used to illustrate things that don't happen very often became reality.
We had a friendly conversation, and it was one of the only things I really enjoyed all day (with the other exception of my lemon-pepper tofu wrap that I failed to mention and expand upon).
Still, had it not been for my amazing chatroom friend and equally amazing sandwich, today would have been perfectly normal.
Or maybe it wouldn't have.
Perhaps there is no such thing as a normal day.
Well, there's only one way to find out.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
